Gauri’s Thoughts

I know the title is a cheap trick to attract more “clicks”….but I am not ashamed! Anyway, that is not what I intend to write about…

As per the 1991 census data (that is the one I could find on net), sex ratio in Kerala is 1036:1000, India’s average is 927:1000. I remember discussing this with couple of non-Mallu friends and that is when I mentioned to them that in Kerala, most of the castes used to follow( except for Brahmins and lower classes) matriarchal system. My friends were shocked when I told them that I belong to my mother’s family and not my father’s family. So bearing a son to maintain the race doesnot hold good in Kerala, instead a daughter is the link between present and future . They were taken back and decided to treat me like an aboriginal when I added that till couple of generations back (to be exact even in my Grandmother’s time), women stayed in their own houses after marriage and could marry multiple times. Even today in our marriage ceremonies, uncle (mother’s brother) has an important role to play- a remnant of the old times. And regarding property sharing, only women and her offspring used to have the right to property, with the sons appointed as care-takers. In 1970’s, where property sharing started becoming more prominent due to nuclear family systems, the property used to be split equally among daughters, their children and sons with a son getting same share as a grandchild(daughter’s daughter), while son’s daughter would not get a share from her father’s house. Probably, the reason why Nairs in North-Kerala (Valluvanad region) still do not follow practice of dowry. And regarding death ceremonies, there was a time when nephews used to do the death rituals for their uncles and not for their father. Now this custom has changed, but in the past this was the popular norm. So the need for a son was practically non-existent, which probably gave Kerala the best sex-ratio in India.

Sounds like a perfect solution to all the domestic gender issues?May be…….. May be not!!!

Here is an interesting excerpt from my dad’s family (Cherkil) history:

The two sisters Kunchi and Chumma(1804-unkown) were the foundation stones for the prosperity and name of the Cherkil family ( An Interesting point here is that Nairs in Kerala follow the Matriarchal system which means that the child belongs to the mother’s family and girls are the links for  continuing the family lineage. So in all the family diagrams the lineage of the daughters is only depicted and the names bold and starred are daughters). 

Of the two sisters, Kunchi was smarter and was a great enthusiast. Her physical strength and hard working nature could put men to shame. But that never meant that she was less feminine- she was a great follower of fashion (think of it, it was 18^th century then!!!). Her different varieties of clothes and jewels used to be a cause of envy and surprise for the neighbors. It seems that she had a carved wooden necklace laced with gold and a golden flower as the pendant (Designer Jewellery?).  

A small note on the family structure in those times. In those times, a Nair lady could have more than one husband. An alliance coming for a married lady was very common in those times and socially accepted. A lady who has had many husbands was placed at a higher level in the society than one with a single husband. The reason being a married lady would get a second alliance only if she had two main qualifications- beauty and scrupulous living. And she could choose to live or not with the second man. Thus was the freedom of Nair women in those times. 

Another surprising thing is that even now among Ambalavasi castes (Castes like Warriers who are associated with temple maintenance activities), children do not go through mourning practices when father dies (i.e. no children have no pula relation with their father), the practice could be dated back to this era because pin-pointing of father for a kid was difficult due to this polyandry system. 

 

During those times, ladies used to wear only once piece of cloth (Mundu) and while going out they used to wear a second mundu as well. Umbrellas (made of silk) were considered as status symbol in those times.