Gauri’s Thoughts

I dont have time to spend !

Golden walls and roofs-right out of a Grandma tale, solid silver doors and even two huge silver urns to carry water on a foreign trip- Saying I was not amazed by all these would be a blatant lie, but part of me was raging seeing the great splurge. Especially, when the scene outside was still pathetic-mud huts( what you call “jhopdis”), lack of water and hot sun blazing. Yes, you guessed it right, the place is Rajasthan.

It was my first trip to Rajasthan- where we covered almost entire North and West Rajasthan, we could feel the difference staring at us.  Being a Mallu  with a slightly left aligned thinking, I was getting too emotional over it. I was ranting through out the journey how the kings with their rich income from playing “customs” to the old caravan route from Persia, Afghanisthan and Pakisthan could neglect the people to this level. And even cursing the people who could treat the Exploiting King as their God and worship him through all the tricks he is playing.I went on and on with my arguments and even started accusing Bangalore born S for not sharing my feelings..

S had enough for it and to shut me up he asked me ” Do you realise that we pay our maid a month the same amount we spend for a dinner an evening ? “…..

OK that kept me quiet(not exactly…but still!)  rest of the trip….My thought was ” Am I happy to be the Queen I am…or Am I not? “.

 I realized I am …

“Hypocrisy”..is it?

I have always prided myself to be a best student with the best”est” intelligence and opportunities…just 26 year old, with a wonderful career of 5 years spanning 2 companies, 2 continents and 3 countries … OMG what more should I ask for ? I was already feeling like “ Alexander the Great “ and FYI, my life can be summarised as  “I came I saw I conquered” . I know what you are thinking now…No!  You are wrong,  ”Modesty” has always been my surname. 

 Then I got married and came to this wretched city and pray marriage did no harm to my thoughts, S is a sweetie pie in all these matters. That is when we started checking out property prices to buy an apartment. Yeah, S tried warning me. Who am I to listen  I am always “The Best” and I always need “The Best” right ?  So one day from my office I called up XYZ builders who are supposed to be the Best builders for an apartment complex coming up at an upcoming location…A sweet lady answered the phone with not so sweet voice(…she knew who I am… I swear she is jealous of  me, that is why that ugly smirk in her voice). I tried convincing her that I am “The Best” and I wanted “The Best”, but there she was just “Hmming” sleepily to my excited blabbering and I could really feel the heat of envy, so I casually asked the price ( You know the tone right? I am not really bothered about the price alright ! I just wanted “The Best”)….and she replied “ Duplex to cost 1 crore Madam” 

 THUD there was me on the ground…I could hear the world shattering and sky falling down! All in the same moment. 

OK..OK…But you tell me who will buy these stupid apartments by blocking such a lot of money. Its not that I cannot raise the amount, but what about the returns eh ? It is just for those NRIs who run Dunkin Donuts in US and drive Sheikh’s cars in Dubai or people like Dawood Ibrahim to spend his days before getting caught…Not for an intelligent person like me! I would very well invest that money in the Stock Market. Sensex is booming nowadays you see.( But don’t ask  me to show you my portfolio…I hate copycats that’s why). Any way I am planning to relocate to Mysore or Trivandrum, Oh reason? Its just that I love quieter places and no pubs or malls for me please..that rules out Bangalore any way. Blah..Blah..Blah.. 

Old habits die hard they say.

All the leading news papers and TV channels in India have been very proudly following up the Discovery launch for the last 2 weeks with detailed charts about the agenda, schedule , menu and even luggage of the crew members especially of Sunita Williams ( yeah I am sure you all know this great lady). I even saw couple of interviews with couple of her “long lost” relatives in Gujarath on TV…so what are we acclaiming here with pride ?   

“ A lady of Indian origin on her way to the stars!!”. Hello.. aren’t we ashamed ? What has India got to do to with her success…nothing….a big ZERO…If her dad had not taken the step to leave Gujarath , he would have been forced to marry his daughters with a great dowry and the only trip Sunita ( with due respect to her) could have then taken  would have been to the village temple ! And here we are basking in glory about the Samosas she took along with her on her “Odyssey to Space “. 

On a positive note, thanks to media, youngsters are getting inspired with these incidents and hopefully their interest will genuinely make India proud one day.

The first memory I have of  a Muslim are Moymu  and Salma from my dad’s ancestral home where they used to be domestic helpers for generations. I remember Moymu as  thin and dark wearing a lungie and shirt and Salma with a lungie, blouse and scarf(thattom) on her head( typical Moplah dress in North Malabar). Did I say they ‘used ‘ to be the domestic helpers for generations….yes and they might be the last generation to work for us too as their sons and sons- in law were already in gulf…But besides that they used to still come to our house and be assistance to our grand parents who used to stay alone..And indeed they used to visit when we were there for our annual visits  and Salma used to visit us with Pathiris and Egg curry( a typical North Malabar delicacy)..In between the delicious food and Moymu’s numerous beedis I remember Moymu talking about his numerous children and grand children  and how his sons and sons-in-law are faring in Gulf….Indeed remember Moymu’s daughter too….a big chechi(elder sister) for me then in her teens wearing a long skirt, blouse and a head scarf(called ‘Thattom’). And some where along those years, I remember Moymu moving from ‘Choottu’( A traditional Mallu torch-A bunch of Coconut palm leaves tied and lighted at the end) to a huge foreign torch (brought for him by one of the many sons)..That is my early memory of  ‘Muslim’..sweet Moymu who used to smell of beedi and Salma who smells of Pathiri and Egg curry…

Along with that, I also remember Islam as the green Mosque in my mother’s native place..which is incidentally my dad’s native place too.. which used to be the Van/bus stop where we used to get ready to get down while travelling from my dad’s home to my mom’s home..advising my brother that ‘It’s the next stop and be ready’ just before the Nellaya City stop..my Mother still prays with her eyes closed for a moment in front of all temples, churches and mosques…probably she picked up her practice from this Mosque which used to be on her way to school…As I started growing up..even before I realized the concept of religion, I was exposed to my Grandma’s stories of how she was born in 1921( the year of Moplah rebellion in Great Malabar) and how even though being the main feudal lord in Malabar, her father was respected and loved through out his domain and how her mother used to give paddy , jaggery and vegetables to those poor ‘Umma’s’( the way Muslim women are addressed in Malabar) whose husbands were in hiding from the British police and how her father( at that time the Manjeri kovilakom thampuran) refused to let the police search  their property where they had Muslims in hiding. Indeed this exposure was at a tender age of six or seven when I did not even even know what a ‘Muslim’ meant..But I used to empathise with them and with my Grandmother’s description of how loyal and courteous they were I imagined them always close to my heart….

So there I was growing up….from the age of seven towards by adolescent age when we shifted to this new house in Trivandrum, where we had a sweet muslim family in neighbourhood. Beeby Aunty was a government school teacher ( yes, I can sense your surprise, but Muslim ladies in Kerala work as well) , uncle was in Gulf, so we never used to get to see him, but all the kids in neighbourhood used to wait for him to come once in two years when aunty used to come to each house with a bunch of pencils, pens, erasers and lots of chocolates- our only entry into the Gulf world at that time. And apart from this sweet teacher aunty, there used to be a chettan( elder brother) and two chechis( elder sisters) in the house. We could never make out any difference in the way they talk or behave or dress..they used to joke, they used to play and we all used to gossip. They were all exemplary students and proceeded to become doctors. Beeby aunty used to be such a popular teacher in the neighbourhood that if you go out for a walk with her …you can see the entire locality coming to say hi to her..they were all either her students or her student’s parents..The only time we saw the difference was the time when  Mutton Biriyani used to come to our house in parcels twice a year ( for Bakrid and Ramzan) and we used to take Payasam and other snacks to their house twice( Onam and Vishu) … I have always wished to be in their shoes then- Imagine having good Biriyani at home…yummmm…for me it was a distant dream as my mom is a strict vegetarian. So that was ‘Musim’ for me when I was growing up- lip smacking biriyani and lots of chocolates and fancy pencils…

Yes, that is the way I would like to see it..my ammamma( mom’s mother) expired last week..on Friday the 13th. Me and my brother were her favourite grand children as she was the one who brought us up..as I have a working mother.

Considering that she belonged to an orthodox palakkad menon family with kovilakom connections from both  her father’s and husband’s side,ammamma was pretty modern and liberal…she used to encourage us to eat non-veg even when she was a staunch vegetarian because somebody told that it was good for our health, she never stopped us from taking driving lessons, she never stopped me from touching her on those 5 days, she told us the story of Krishna as a clever manipulator and not as a great god, she criticized Rama for abandoning his wife, she refused to attend my grand father’s  last rituals as she never believed in them, she never visited any temples for a very long time and even when she visited I have never seen her pray there…the list goes on and on…..but on the other side, she was also a staunch “Bhaktha” who never missed her prayers at home, who used to light the lamp early in the morning, recite her prayers for a long time and most importantly she had stopped eating rice at an age of 30 when her eldest son fell sick with polio but miraculously recovered and later on retired as Colonel from Indian Army…..

Now I can imagine her sitting and having a coffee with Krishna praising him for his political skills and arguing with Rama that it was wrong on his part to leave Sita in forest and more importantly asking them to give all the poor people enough money so that they can live happily but nothing for her children as she believes they have enough!!!!!

I found the idea of thinking hats pretty interesting when I first saw it one of the self-help books. Thinking hats help you to consider all angles while brain storming for a perfect solution. The general technique that can be employed is every single in the group has to wear all the hats during the thought process……When you wear each of the below hats your thought process has to be aligned the following ways: 

White Hat – Facts, figures and information

Red Hat – Emotions, Feelings, Hunches and Intutions

Black Hat – Caution. Truth, judgement, fitting the facts- Reality Check

Yellow Hat – Advantages, Benefits and Savings

Green Hat – Explorations, proposals, suggestions, new ideas- Alternatives for the plan

Blue Hat – Thinking about thinking- Control of the thinking process

So thats all…..Try using it next time when you are in a productive thought!!!! 

My niece(Pooja) joined a new school in 8th Standard this June. When she got home her new text books , we were shocked to see that all text books where of 9th Standard and we shouted at her for being so careless even after being so big. But Pooja kept on insisting that these are the books for her that year as the school has advanced the syllabus so that they can start teaching 10th Standard portions in 9th Standard itself. Not convinced with her explanations my sis-in-law went to the school to check out with the teachers. To our surprise…Pooja was right!!!!

That was the school’s game plan to get a dazzling result in 10th Standard. They start teaching 9th Standard portions in 8th itself and 10th Standard portions in 9th so that they get the entire one year in 10th Standard to just revise and re-revise and Bingo—cent percent results in 10th.So what happens to the 8th Standard ? Answer for that is 8th standard syllabus is not very significant!!??

We were taken back with a real big ‘O’ , but unfortunately we could not move Pooja out of the school as the admissions in other schools were already closed.

Now we have poor Pooja struggling with her Maths and Physics as there is a huge gap between what she has learned in 7th and what she is currently learning and we have just ourselves to blame!!!!

Isn’t this really irresponsible on the school’s side where in they look only for a temporary achievement where as it is the child who is going to suffer the moment he or she goes to the next level of education ??

Voila ” Alma Mater” !!! ( Alma Mater means ” Nourishing Mother” in Latin)…..Who is getting nourished here ???